Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
