Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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