You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
