1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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