hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
