Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize