Dual....:-)
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
