therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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