I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
