Do you still have your period?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Holy sore nipples Batman
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
