Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
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This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
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After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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