Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
