no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
