she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
