there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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