So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Randomize
