I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
