Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
