Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
try to milk me bitch
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