Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize