I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
