Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
