Kareoke will never be a sober sport
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
