mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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