my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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