When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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