Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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