You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
