Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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