i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
