they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
We left the knife in your bed.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
