is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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