I wish i was in the wii world.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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