Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
