Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
