oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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