I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
