Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
