You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
