We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
We left an ass print on the piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize