Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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