Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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