Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.