ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.