Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis

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(248): I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis http://tfl.nu/utf8

Replies (38) Good night (3229) Bad night (813)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.

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(270): Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high. http://tfl.nu/tn40

Replies (18) Good night (8127) Bad night (641)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story

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(860): im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story http://tfl.nu/k55u

Replies (16) Good night (3665) Bad night (847)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore

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(203): So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore http://tfl.nu/h83b

Replies (11) Good night (787) Bad night (5236)
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(507): View more from Minnesota

All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon

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(507): All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon http://tfl.nu/xv5b

Replies (12) Good night (1938) Bad night (2495)
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(720): View more from Colorado

I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.

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(720): I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me. http://tfl.nu/g7lo

Replies (22) Good night (3519) Bad night (1121)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

then he tried to convert me to islam

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(203): then he tried to convert me to islam http://tfl.nu/h9gq

Replies (23) Good night (1419) Bad night (4997)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.

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(318): Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION. http://tfl.nu/w8c8

Replies (17) Good night (2811) Bad night (821)
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(416): View more from Toronto

I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.

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(416): I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing. http://tfl.nu/fg17

Replies (2) Good night (524) Bad night (915)
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(216): View more from Ohio

Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.

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(216): Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds. http://tfl.nu/t6po

Replies (3) Good night (1755) Bad night (441)
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(815): View more from Illinois

High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...

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(815): High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes... http://tfl.nu/ssal

Replies (5) Good night (1343) Bad night (452)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...

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(860): on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed... http://tfl.nu/6d23

Replies (4) Good night (1072) Bad night (371)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.

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(704): She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason. http://tfl.nu/coul

Replies (4) Good night (1461) Bad night (838)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.

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(715): The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots. http://tfl.nu/aoap

Replies (6) Good night (864) Bad night (270)
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(702): View more from Nevada

Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!

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(702): Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one! http://tfl.nu/ayyz

Replies (3) Good night (817) Bad night (281)

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