Texts From Last Night

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  (678): View more from Georgia

  so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.

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  (678): so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style. http://tfl.nu/eq3b
  Replies (27) Good night (1444) Bad night (9174)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom

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  (630): i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom http://tfl.nu/c6lg
  Replies (17) Good night (1667) Bad night (4452)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.

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  (907): It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am. http://tfl.nu/0rxk
  Replies (36) Good night (1108) Bad night (5668)
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  (408): View more from California

  Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this

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  (408): Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this http://tfl.nu/4kx4
  Replies (16) Good night (5136) Bad night (953)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day

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  (303): I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day http://tfl.nu/oxlv
  Replies (2) Good night (2414) Bad night (898)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.

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  (256): Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary. http://tfl.nu/t36d
  Replies (3) Good night (2486) Bad night (798)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?

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  (901): Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper? http://tfl.nu/q7x9
  Replies (17) Good night (4349) Bad night (838)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.

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  (603): Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No. http://tfl.nu/243w
  Replies (15) Good night (2285) Bad night (947)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.

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  (604): He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there. http://tfl.nu/lavl
  Replies (10) Good night (2070) Bad night (656)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.

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  (904): In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name. http://tfl.nu/nb8i
  Replies (2) Good night (1086) Bad night (526)
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  (518): View more from New York

  We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer

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  (518): We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer http://tfl.nu/x68v
  Replies (2) Good night (1506) Bad night (470)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well

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  (641): Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well http://tfl.nu/dscc
  Replies (6) Good night (897) Bad night (720)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!

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  (804): Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body! http://tfl.nu/7w2d
  Replies (4) Good night (1200) Bad night (629)
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  (951): View more from California

  I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card

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  (951): I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card http://tfl.nu/akau
  Replies (2) Good night (673) Bad night (368)
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  (760): View more from California

  That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill

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  (760): That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill http://tfl.nu/s1si
  Replies (0) Good night (473) Bad night (234)

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