The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize
