My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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