I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize