Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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