Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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