So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
