i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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