I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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