I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize