I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
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I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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