I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
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So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
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she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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