no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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