Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
