I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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