Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize