Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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