I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
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